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Edith Pearlman Big Fish |
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Malachi spent the year after his
pediatric residency in an East African village. Such One-ness, he said to Michal during their courtship—such a sense of community
in that meagre settlement. There was also a lot of
dope and dancing. “And awful diseases,” he said. “Bilharzia, it comes from the fluke, a parasitic worm…” “Tell me.” “You don’t want to know.” “I do! Everything you know,
everything you’ve seen.” So he gave her what she wanted,
told her the particulars caused by the fluke—yellowing sclera, blood gushing
from mouth, nose, anus; the victim’s exhaustion after the parasite’s carnival.
She almost retched. His arm slid around her shoulders. “Usually we saved the
patients.” She kissed him. She seized any
opportunity to kiss him, any excuse, not that she needed an excuse, but
still. Malachi published three papers
on his return from Africa—one on Bilharzia and
another on Kwarshkior and a third on the
hallucinogenic properties of a certain bark; and in the ten years since that
time he had kept current with maladies of tropical countries, though their
incidence in his Boston clinic was zero. And now the law of unintended
consequences picked him up in its careless chops. The International Congress
on Third World Pediatric Diseases, three weeks before its quadrennial
conference, lost one of its Parasite Discussants to disabling sciatica. The
chairman gave Malachi a call on a Sunday evening. After a few minutes Malachi
thrust his thumb into his other ear: listen in on the bedroom extension, the
gesture said. The conference was to be in “If you would be kind enough to
substitute at this last moment…yes,” said the voice. “Thank you so much. I’ll call
you tomorrow.” Michal
danced into the living room. Malachi met her merry gaze with one of caution. “You
can’t say no!” she cried. “I said I’d consider.” “Last chance till the baby’s in
high school! And you’re due so much time at work. And I’m in the safe
trimester.” Malachi regarded her steadily. “My father,” she said, as if in
echo, as if he had said “Your father,” or even “Our father”; and then he did
say, “The dear man. But we can’t prevent another stroke by staying home.”
When at last she smiled again he said, “Okay. Let’s do it. First real
vacation since They had honeymooned in a rented
apartment in Now she sat down on the arm of
his chair. “I hope you don’t get hooked by an Orthodox cult,” envisioning his
towering blackness topped by a hat with a wide fur brim. “I’d be quite a catch, an
atheist brother.” “The oddest people get
revelations. My second-cousin Josh, his brain has never even been located;
then one day he’s a follower of some Rebbe in “I will be in mortal danger,”
said Malachi gravely. “Don’t take your eyes off me.” When did she ever take her eyes
off him? Sometimes, when the hospital phoned, he was already asleep, his
snore like lapping water. The telephone was set to its lowest ring; but at
its almost soundless spasm his sure hand reached for the instrument. “Dr. Wethers,” he’d say, and swing out of bed, already fully
awake. He’d listen, and talk, the receiver clamped between jaw and shoulder;
meanwhile he’d dress himself in the clean clothing always left on a nearby
chair. He’d switch the receiver when necessary to the other jaw and shoulder.
He’d put right foot and then left against the night table, and tie his shoes.
“Ten minutes,” he’d promise, and hang up, and stride into the bathroom and
urinate without closing the door, and wash his hands. Then a second’s pause
next to her side of the bed, and a low “Michal” by
way of good-bye—very low, she might be sleeping. Sleeping? Not on your life. “Malachi,”
she’d say immediately, so as not to delay him. His fingers touched her cheek;
he was gone; diving into a river of little sick folks to make one of them
well, or to hold the hand of a terrified parent. They gave themselves a farewell
party and invited their numerous and disparate friends, all glad to see each
other because they saw each other only here. “Maybe we’re the center of a
wheel,” Michal suggested afterwards, something to
say. “Wheel, nothing. A few spokes,
no rim.” She hid her distress in the
clatter of cleaning up. Wasn’t running a hospital clinic enough for him? How
much connection did he want? Il est à moi! Both mothers called to say
good-bye. Malachi’s mother sounded solemn as always. “I’ll pray for your safe
return,” as if the airlines required her intercession as a boarding pass. Michal’s mother
said, “Dad’s stabilized,” lightly. “And communicating very well, at least
with me.” The second stroke had left him without speech. Then they were off, Malachi and Michal, lapsed Baptist and indifferent Jew, flying to the
In One evening at dusk they fetched
up at an Orthodox neighborhood. Malachi was wearing knee-length shorts and Michal a loose sleeveless dress. They knew their garb was
disrespectful, so they stood at the gates, watching some little girls manage
to play despite elaborate clothing. And the women—so many of them expecting
this year’s baby, pushing last year’s in a worn-out stroller. How stupefying,
Michal said to herself; and then, what a shock: How
satisfying, Herself retorted. The annual birth, the
yearly round of holidays, the days steadied by prayer and feeding, feeding
and prayer. Ten years ago on a fall evening she and
two Now a woman in a snood walked
through the gates, trailed by half a dozen children. “Jack Kack Lack Mack Nack Pack,” said
Malachi. Michal smiled, to please him, to
acknowledge his innocence: he had never walked under those balconies
on a holiday night; and he had never seen the brownish photograph of Great
Grandma Bessie, shirtwaist puffed over bosom, at each earlobe a soft glow. At a cocktail party on the last
night of the conference Michal met the group of
pediatricians and scientists who had been thrown together and now must fly
apart. One was a stunner, from The following day Malachi and Michal drove in a rented car to Tiberias. “God’s country,” one of their The inn he recommended turned
out to be a fortress of basalt bricks. They walked through a deep arched
entrance; and the place revealed its treasures: flowers in a tub, a dry
carved fountain, a tangled garden sloping down to the He turned. “I’m not going
anywhere.” Their unadorned room had two
narrow beds. Malachi would have to push them together as soon as the young
woman handing them keys had gone back to the reception desk. No telephone? “Oh,
we take the call and come up.” “In the middle of the night? My
father, back in the States…” “It rings in the manager’s
bedroom. He’ll find you.” Michal
turned to Malachi. But he had wandered from their cell into a large common
room, one wall entirely windows, all flung outwards towards the “These people are pilgrims,” she
said urgently. “Yep. So?” “We don’t belong with them.” “Honey,” he said absently; then
slid his arm around her. “They won’t eat us up.” And he was right; over the next
few days Michal and Malachi were gently welcomed by
the other guests—Swedes, Germans, three elderly British secretaries. All
together they explored the Christian shrines. They dined on St. Peter’s fish
at lakeside restaurants. They saw the One afternoon they all went out
on a cruise of the “The apostles caught big fish,”
intoned a Swede, sounding like the parson he was. “Very big fish: men.” At the next to last breakfast
their plain-faced companions proposed a trip to the place of the Gadarene swine. “No,” said Michal.
“Thank you,” she thought to add. “Tired?” said Malachi. “I’ll go,
okay?” looking at his plate. “Okay,” looking at hers. She sat in the garden. Birds
sang. A warm breeze delivered the tonic aroma of eucalyptus. She would be
glad to go home, she confided to the book on her lap, to the baby under her
heart. This country sweated holiness, nothing to do with Malachi and Michal Wethers, but still… A maid rushed through a side gate. “Missus Wethers! The telephone…” Oh her father, her dear father. She
ran from the garden. But it was not her father, and
not a stroke; it was Malachi’s mother: a heart attack. She was alive, said
Malachi’s brother. “But will you come home as soon as you can?” Michal
called the airline. Its policy of compassion allowed them to switch tickets
from tomorrow to tonight. She packed. Malachi returned, heard the news, became stone. But he ate his lunch and carried their
suitcases down to the car. Michal paid the bill and
then stood in the deep archway, watching. He was wearing those knee-length
shorts. He looked like a bewildered boy as he tried to stuff the suitcases
small ones first into the trunk; he had to take them all out and do it right. He got into the driver’s seat. She
got in beside him. The two-lane highway followed
the river. Past Malachi’s profile, past the cars on the other side of the
road, Michal spotted a crosshatch of reeds. A
glimpse of water. A yellow…bus? He swerved leftwards across the
road. “Mal!” He nuzzled the car into the
little space next to the bus. “Let’s just see what’s happening here.” “The airport…” “Plenty of time,” as if speaking
to a child. At this place the The men wore pants and shirts,
the women dresses; and some were wet and some dry; and among them was a woman
in a white robe. She held another white robe over her arm like an attendant
at a spa. A man taller than the rest stood hip-deep in the water. He too wore
a white robe. Malachi lowered himself easily
onto the moist earth at the edge of the sand. Michal
kneeled, then sat, then folded her legs sideways, then planted one palm on
the earth, arm rigid, chin on shoulder—the picture of discomfort, she figured.
But Malachi wasn’t noticing. The garbed woman helped one of
the dry participants into the spare robe and led him into the water. “… baptize
you in the name of the Lord,” called the big man in a soupy baritone for
which he was no doubt esteemed. The people on the shore sang: I
am bound for the promised land. I
am bound for the promised land. O
who will come and go with me? I
am bound for the promised land! They’d had voice training, Michal judged; or at least practice. They knew how to
sing together. The preacher and his assistant
immersed the parishioner. The people on the shore sang
again, full-voiced, strong in their exclusiveness. The assistant and the
parishioner waded out of the water. The parishioner was triumphantly
embraced. One after another the members
were baptized. The rest kept singing. They sang the same verse again and
again, and when each newly wetted person returned to the group, the song rang
fuller, as if the river were a restorative bath, though it was probably sour
with bacteria, perhaps even home to the fluke… Dark skin shone, white teeth flashed. Michal’s great-aunt had once reminisced about the
minstrel shows she’d enjoyed during her privileged The last congregant emerged from
the He raised a hand in greeting,
and stood still. Malachi raised a hand and sat still. Stillness, stillness;
and yet it was as if the first man had flung a rope and the second caught it. “Brother,” the preacher rumbled
at last. Malachi stood up. “Michal,”
he said in that low voice she knew, the voice of the
summoned. He slipped out of his sandals, he was walking, he was walking fast,
he was running towards the preacher, he was running
away from her. I
am bound for the promised land. The preacher’s assistant wrapped
Malachi in the robe. I
am bound for the promised land. The three entered the water. Her
strong man! hunched under the lapping waves. O
who will come and go with me? I
am bound for the promised land! Dripping, he waded towards the
shore. Michal
noted dully that she too was now on her feet. She stepped forwards, once,
twice. Then she stopped and gazed at Malachi across the narrow beach. His
brown legs looked like tree trunks below his white robe. He might have been
coming out of the shower on a Sunday morning, glistening. Some Sundays, from
the bed, she gasped with such ardor that he took off the robe and they
started all over again. The congregation embraced him,
one by one by one. She watched, pregnant and
abandoned, the old story. Il est à moi, she thought, but
without conviction. He was landed. Oh, sure, Dr. and Mrs. Wethers
would return home outwardly unchanged. But these drenched folks by the river
would always stand waiting to claim him; just as, she supposed, that crowd in
skullcaps, patient as centuries, would sing to her forever from the courtyard
under whose dust her great-grandmother’s earring continued to glow. |
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Arts & Letters is supported by |
Arts & Letters Journal of Contemporary Culture Campus Box 89 Georgia College & State University Milledgeville, GA
31061 Phone: (478) 445-1289 E-mail: al@gcsu.edu
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GC&SU is a member of |
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