Home		Ken Waldman W.C. Fields Meets Abbott and Costello
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		Barkeep, a drink for my two new friends here. The fellows look dry as my mother-in-law’s yard— prettiest spot in Death Valley. You, pard, what’s your name. Just bought you a nickel beer, didn’t I? You, the quick-thinking blade near the pickled eggs. Quiet, you rotund wild card, you sanctimonious flab-barrel of lard, you slobbering big-reared monkey, a mere baboon. I’m talking to your sidekick, who— hiccup—looks like the bossman of this crew. Mr. Bud Abbott, is it? This, uh, deal is a once-or-twice-in-a-lifetime steal. Boys, I’m selling my dear wife’s full-length mink— her in it. Barkeep—hiccup—three more drinks.
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